A PLACE OF VULNERABILITY

We've all heard it said, "It is more blessed to give than to receive." We’ve learned how to serve and give of ourselves through our roles as parents, wives, husbands and children of elderly parents. And it's true, giving, sharing, serving, helping others in need – overcoming our natural self-centeredness – are good things. But giving seems to be more important because in scripture the word "give" is mentioned 1427 times whereas, receive is only mentioned 252 times.

Anthony B Robinson, speaker, consultant and writer, says" there is another truth lurking in the shadow of the well-known one that it is more blessed to give than to receive. That little truth in the shadows is that giving is not only more blessed than receiving, but it also may be, at least for some of us, easier. How could it be easier to give than to receive? Here's what I think. Giving is an act or expression of power while receiving is an experience of vulnerability. Receiving means we aren't in control nor self-sufficient. Receiving suggests a sort of weakness on our part." He certainly has a point that giving can be an expression of power, or be done out of pride and/or self righteousness, but giving can also be an act of selflessness and love. So are both giving and receiving important to our spiritual life as a Christian?

We’ve never had a lot of extra cash, what with raising seven children and then my husband being on a disability there was not an over abundance. At the Feast, though, I’d always think…wouldn’t it be nice to take a family out for dinner and we pay the bill, but with our hungry teenagers and little ones it was not feasible? Still I always wanted to.

And it’s true…if one has money and the ability to help others it makes them feel good. I’ve known many who have been very generous over the years to their fellow brethren. They’ve had well paying jobs and the ability to give. God says the poor will always be with us, so he expects us to help out. Maybe that’s so we have that opportunity to give…and God puts us to the test. There are many other ways of helping besides money…using ones time and energy to help others is good also. On the other hand, why are we hesitant to take anything from others?

I know a fellow who has given and served all his life…his family, his fellow man, his brethren with no thought given to himself. When my husband was having radiation for cancer, he showed up with a few truckloads of wood for my woodstove…no questions asked…just served…I was so grateful… He told me anytime I needed help give him a call. He helped widows in need, in the church or not. Now this man has a bad back and is in serious pain… and we want to help him…and he protests that he doesn’t want to inconvenience anyone, that he wants to be independent, wants to do things for himself, doesn’t want to be a burden. I tried to convince him we wanted to be of service and it was no trouble. I told him he’s been blessed for helping others through the years now others need to be blessed for helping him. There are times when we have no choice but to accept help from others. I called his attitude pride…he called it stubborn.

Remember the incident when Jesus wanted to wash Peter’s feet and Peter was too proud. No way was Peter going to allow his master to give something of himself to him. "No," said Peter, "you shall never wash my feet." But Jesus answered, "Unless I wash you, you have no part with me" (John 13: 8 NIV) Jesus wanted to teach Peter a lesson in humility.

A Giving is Receiving article by Marrinel Harriman illustrates the importance of how we receive what we are given and according to her receiving takes more humility than giving.

"I learned about giving in the slow human way. Because my mother was a skilled seamstress, I was a well dressed child. It may have been guilt or it may have had something to do with "the joy of giving" that prompted me to deliver several of my most stylish dresses to a less fortunate little girl, who lived with disabled parents. After thanking me gratefully, the little girl offered me the only party dress in her closet. Puzzled, I tried to refuse, but my mother guided me. She complimented the girl and told her how happy I would be to wear the dress. I came away knowing a little bit more about human pride and who gives what to whom. My greatest gift to the girl was acceptance of the gift she offered me."

Do we make people feel good when they give us something or help us in some way or do we have too much pride and put up a stubborn struggle? Or when we give are we puffed up with pride. The importance in the giving and receiving is all in the attitude.

"Receiving" — people don’t like that word. "At least when I do the helping" they say "I’m in control, in charge of the situation. Besides helping makes me feel good." There is a famous saying of Jesus recorded in Acts 20: "In all things, I have shown you that by so toiling one must help the weak." There is another saying from Luke 6: "Give and it will be given to you; good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, it will be put into your lap. For the measure you give will be the measure you get."

This is a 2-sided coin! If I only give and never receive, I enrich myself, both by fulfilling God’s commands and by the natural blessing that comes through helping. But what of the receiver of my help? I am blessed in the giving, but I never give the other fellow the same satisfaction. If I never allow them to give to me, never let them aid me when I’m in trouble, I am effectively denying the other person the opportunity to experience the great satisfaction and rewards that come from giving. This is especially true for those ones who always seem to be put in the position of being helped. The people who are classed as despised, misfits, odd balls, those who are the "them" always being helped by "us" the good people. Where, oh where is our humility?

On the spiritual level…isn’t our biggest lesson to become dependent on our awesome Father and Jesus Christ for salvation, for help in our times of need…which are many. Look at the example of David (a great and powerful King) in the Psalms who over and over again had to humble himself by crying out to God for help and having sufficient humility to receive it. So why then do we have such a hard time being on the receiving end of someone else’s giving? It is our sense of pride which we need to get rid of. Hopefully we learn it the easy way…and not have to be disabled in a big way to learn this lesson in humility.

The ultimate sign of my respect for someone, the way I can communicate best that they are of great value as loved creations of God comes when I allow that "other" to help me, to give to me. When I can give up enough of my power to receive from another – no matter how strange or odd or difficult – then I am giving them a great gift: the gift of having the opportunity to be enriched by giving something of themselves to me.

The greatest gift I can give another is the gift of receiving their love.