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by Jean Jantzen
As we become busier and busier, we see more and more little bodies hunched up in a dream-like state, their emotions being manipulated before pervasive blaring black boxes, ipods, Play Station, video games, text messaging and Internet, etc. Young children find themselves drawn, a captive audience, to the colorful imagery, fragmented movements, music, unrelenting hullabaloo, all being swayed by the powerful mass advertising medium, the commercialism of television and other electronic distractions. So, just as important as teaching children good table etiquette and instilling them with moral values, is teaching and showing by example intelligent television viewing habits and limited use of other electronic games and gadgets. And last, but not least we should remember the important and often overlooked source of help and support, the extended family. Leonard Eron, Ph.D., and his associates at the University of Illinois, "found that children who watched many hours of TV violence when they were in elementary school tended to also show a higher level of aggressive behavior when they became teenagers. By observing these youngsters until they were 30 years old, Dr. Eron found that the ones who'd watched a lot of TV when they were eight years old were more likely to be arrested and prosecuted for criminal acts as adults." Media violence is especially damaging to children under age eight because "they don't have enough real-world experience to have a good sense of what's realistic," writes educational development psychologist and media-violence expert Ron Slaby in Children's Advocate Newsmagazine. Television does not generally show negative consequences of violent acts. By age eighteen, children have witnessed 200,000 acts of violence; 3-5 acts per hour in prime time; Saturday morning cartoons 20-25 acts per hour and don’t forget the news hour. Violence on television is not all we have to worry about, but also seeing foolish interactions, repulsive manners and offensive behavior of children and adults. I wouldn’t let my children watch The Jeffersons (disrespect, rudeness) and my grandchildren are not allowed to watch the Power Rangers, Ninja Turtles (violence), Roseanne, The Simpsons (rudeness, disrespect for authority), Goosebumps, Are You Afraid of the Dark? (scary) or Sabrina the Teenage Witch (witchcraft portrayed as harmless). Seeing and listening to child actors dressing, acting, and talking like an adult (Two of a Kind, the Spice Girls), being more clever and sophisticated than their parents or elders (many commercials), talking sassy to other children and to adults, as will seeing and listening to quarrels between fathers and mothers (Roseanne, Simpsons), all make long-lasting impressions. Children mimic what they see. Your efforts to teach respect, responsibility and restraint will be undone. In The Disappearance of Childhood, Neil Postman raises another interesting question about television viewing: "What does it mean that our children are better informed than ever before? that in having access to the previously hidden fruit of adult information, they are expelled from the garden of childhood?" I did not want my children to grow up too soon, or have them exposed to faulty sexual information, habits, customs, behaviors or actions of which I did not approve. I wanted to teach them spiritual values, morals, codes of behavior and sexual ethics in a time and manner appropriate for our family. Not all television viewing is harmful though. Sesame Street tries to teach important values, as do other instructive programs, such as Mr. Dress-up, Fred Penner, The Magic School Bus, Wishbone, Arthur, and a few others. We should always be aware of our children’s viewing habits and as they get older we can watch television with them and discuss issues as they arise. And a whole other subject is our children’s use of the Internet. Read up on and educate yourself on how to handle and monitor this deceptively dangerous tool if used by your children indiscriminately. In an article Addressing the epidemic of video game overuse by Ronald M. Davis, MD., he states "in regards to physical effects, the council reviewed evidence that video game use is associated with epileptic seizures, upper-extremity musculoskeletal disorders and increased metabolic rate… There is a nearly twofold increased risk for obesity per hour per day spent playing electronic games…(and) with respect to behavioral effects, several small studies suggest an association between playing violent video games and having aggressive thoughts and behaviors"(May 19, 2008. amednews.com). And, lastly, let’s not forget to invite our parents, or older friends, to participate in the lives of our children and make child rearing a joint effort. We all need help and support. So do our children. Grandparents have a wealth of experience to share. They can help lift the heavy burden of parenting alone. They can help—one hopes—reinforce our child’s concepts of love, trust, honesty, hard work, kindness, dependability, neatness and politeness. If you want grandparents more involved, teach your children to be respectful toward them. Involve your parents early on in the lives of your little ones as this helps establish a bond that will hopefully last forever. Grandparents can enjoy leisure activities with them, such as sitting on the floor to build a block skyscraper, taking a "leisurely stroll" in the park or just sitting back and watching the little ones grow and develop, hugging and kissing their hurts away. If grandparents are not assessable, approach older reliable friends who might like to do "grandparent" activities with your children. Even if your parents do not always agree with your child-rearing practices, or do not live close to you, they can still play an important part. They can write letters to their grandchildren. They can include stories about their heritage; these serve to create a connection between grandparent and child, and between the child and the past. They can relate memories of the child’s great, and great-great grandparents. And they can share anecdotes about their own parents as youngsters, as well as sharing the many lessons they have learned. These letters can be kept as chronicles of their forebears, cherished memories to be read over and over again. Even if your parents are dead, (or unavailable) you can relate stories to your children, hang old family pictures on the wall, show them where grandma and grandpa used to live—keep their memory alive. In a world where parenting skills are constantly being eroded, you need, as a parent, a concrete plan of action. Ask yourself: is a good foundation being laid? Are we setting reasonable boundaries and consistent loving guidelines? Do we discipline our son or daughter when they need it? Solomon tells us in Proverbs 3:11,12: "My son, do not despise the LORD's discipline and do not resent his rebuke, because the LORD disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in." Are we making the most of our mealtimes? Are we using that time to teach manners and as a joyful opportunity to get to know our children better? Are we actively involved in directing our child’s play? Are we monitoring our children’s television viewing habits and other electronic games? There are no magic solutions in the serious business of child rearing. What is required is much love, hard work, dedication and perseverance. When I looked into the innocent face of my firstborn many years ago, I had no idea of the work ahead, nor of the joy and tears we would share, and still do. I didn’t know I’d have twenty-seven grandchildren, some close, others far away, and have the opportunity to share in their lives. My hope, and I am sure yours is too, is that our children will continue to build a solid foundation in their child rearing efforts and to listen to the instructions and examples found in the pages of the Bible where we are lovingly admonished, encouraged and promised: "He will be the sure foundation for your times, a rich store of salvation and wisdom and knowledge; the fear of the LORD is the key to this treasure" (Isaiah 33:6). Hopefully we will not need a Super Nannie or a Doctor Phil. |
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