STUBBORN ROOTS

Does Jesus say its okay to hate a brother? Jesus tells us, "Everyone who hates his brother or sister is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life present in him." (1 John 3:15 Living Translation) But why is it so important to go to our brother and resolve it quickly? Jesus says, "If another believer sins against you, go privately and point out the offense. If the other person listens and confesses it, you have won that person back" (Matthew 18:15 New Living Translation). If your brother won’t listen Proverbs says "a man’s wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense." How do we forgive and get on with out lives? Let’s see what happens to us if we can’t let go.

The Apostle Paul was inspired to say, "See to it that no one comes short of the grace of God; and that no root of bitterness springing up causes trouble, and by it many be defiled"( Hebrews 12:15 New American Standard).

In a Theological Dictionary of the New Testament, (Kittel: 839) the Greek word translated bitterness is said to have originally meant "pointed, sharp, penetrating, painful (to the feelings), and bitter (to the taste)." "In the Old Testament there is an association between poison and bitterness. It is part of the common human experience to suffer from pointed, sharp, and painful words or actions originating from another human being. Yet being the recipient of this conduct does not require a sinful response. The pain will resolve itself in sin only when we allow it to penetrate and bury itself deep within our hearts. When the root of bitterness hides itself in the soil of our hearts, it will spring forth in sin. The author of Hebrews points out the true nature of bitterness when he says that it will not only trouble us, but it will defile many others. The root of bitterness will not remain hidden. If we nourish our bitterness long enough, we will become the one planting the seed of bitterness in the lives of others. Whole families, work places, and churches have been defiled by one root of bitterness. Even those who choose not to allow the bitterness to take root in their lives are still assaulted by the constant manifestation of bitterness from those who have." (DiAnna Paulk path-light.com)

There are many good reasons not to harbour hate; hating shows up in serious physical, mental and emotional side effects.

Dr. S. I. McMillen, in his book "None of These Diseases," lists 51 diseases caused by emotional stress. And there is no greater stress than an unforgiving spirit and the bitterness that goes along with it. Listen to his wise words.

"The moment I start hating a man, I become his slave. I can’t enjoy my work any more because he even controls my thoughts. My resentment produces too many stress hormones in my body and I become fatigued after only a few hours of work. The work I formerly enjoyed is now drudgery. Even vacations cease to give me pleasure. It may be a luxurious car that I drive along a lake fringed with the autumnal beauty of maple, oak and birch. As far as my experience of pleasure is concerned, I might as well be driving a wagon in mud and rain.

"The man I hate hounds me wherever I go. I can’t escape his tyrannical grasp on my mind. When the waiter serves me porterhouse steak and French fries, asparagus, crisp salad, and strawberry shortcake smothered with ice cream, it might as well be stale bread and water. My teeth chew the food and I swallow it, but the man I hate will not permit me to enjoy it . . . The man I hate may be many miles from my bedroom; but more cruel than any slave driver, he whips my thoughts into such a frenzy that my innerspring mattress becomes a rack of torture," (pp. 73, 74). Hating, carrying grudges causes serious health problems such as cancer, arthritis, heart attack, etc.

Is it because human beings are dumber than grizzly bears that they can fill every moment in twenty-four hours with thoughts that fume like nitric acid and corrode as deeply? Or is man controlled far more than he realizes by an inner force that he recognizes and calls "old Nick"?

One person devoured by his own hate was Haman and he ended up hanging from the gallows he built for the man he despised.

Bitterness can be an unseen enemy, growing like a tumor in your mind and in your spirit. The unforgiving heart clings to the past, refusing to extend to others what our heavenly Father has extended to us. For that very reason God tells us we should not let the sun go down on our anger. (Ephesians 4:26)

But we incubate the idea that it’s too easy on the other guy if we forgive…we want the other person to suffer for his transgressions, for hurting us. We want to hang onto these delicious vengeful feelings. But somehow that concept backfires. I remember in my later teens hating my Dad and my mind would dwell on the negative feelings…it was like throwing gasoline on a fire. A few years later I discovered the only person my hate was hurting was me and I decided to let it go and I felt so much better. We were able to reconcile in my thirties. For me hating or not hating is a choice. It is the sin of pride that holds us to our original plan of hating.

In his book Forgiving the Unforgivable (2005), David Stoop says "Forgiving other people does not in any way benefit or let them off the hook. It allows us to cancel the debt they owe us, which in all probability they can never pay anyway. We are the ones who are freed from the expectation of restitution for the wrong done to us."(page 34) We do not need to be buddies with those we forgive.

Holding a grudge against our brother does not hold well with our worship of God. Bitterness chokes off the spirit of God. Jesus tells us "Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to that person; then come and offer your gift" (Matthew 5:23, 24 TNIV).

David Stoop states some scary truths concerning our spiritual life. "If we are harbouring a spirit of unforgiveness, we have become co-offenders and need to confess our spirit of unforgiveness. When we fail to do so…we begin to isolate ourselves, not only from other people, but also from our relationship with God. Our prayers become empty and we feel hypocritical. The scriptures are empty of meaning. Other believers irritate us. We become cynical about our faith and about life" (Forgiving the Unforgivable Page 138).

There is hope for he goes on to say that "when we give up our unforgiving spirit, we experience new freedom in our personal lives and new meaning in our spiritual lives."

Jesus teaches that forgiveness is a gift…a gift to us…and a gift we can give to others. (Romans5:6-11) Forgiving others is also an act of obedience to God. (Matthew6:14-15)

"He called a little child and had him stand among them. And he said: "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. Matthew 18:2-4NIV)

It comes clear when we remember the little child who became angry at the drop of a hat saying I hate you, yet quick to get over his aggravation and get back to his playing and being friends again. Bitterness never takes root in the tender soil of his heart. It was a simple thing for the child to forgive and move on. That’s how we should be.